first

Hi.

It always runs in my mind. That precise moment. Me and you. Looking down on me like an angel on a sinner. Both your hands in mine. Your eyes in their most beautiful. Lost in the darkness. Lit by your presence. Evanescence.  Trees overhead, stars much above. The moon looking down at us like it plotted this unimaginable serendipity.

And I asked you, for a third time.

Will you be mine?

You nodded, smiled your brightest. Looked into my eyes.

“Yes.”

Knowing every step in the dark more than whatever we’re feeling.

Lost nowhere but in each other’s arms.

Remember this moment. Remember us. Remember the words you can’t remember. When you miss me. When you don’t. When I’m away. When I’m not. Think that you have me. And I have you. And we have each other. And we have today. And maybe that will get us through everyday.

Like I said. I’ll be coming home to you.

There’s something about goodbyes that breaks both our hearts. It isn’t really much of the leaving. More of how we’ll last without each other for the longest time. And every night I hear your voice through silence. Hearing a steady heartbeat in the key of nothing. Knowing you’re on the other end of the line. Knowing I’m without you. Nothing new to say. Still, we’re here to stay. When I get home, will you still be there?

Maybe you’ll get tired. One day. Of this helplessness. Of how we’ll have to wait forever just for us to exist. Of how maybe there isn’t even a forever. Maybe we’ll run out of words to say. Maybe even doubt this love cliché. As the sun sets on us, I hold your hand, elusively. Thinking of forever.

Maybe I’m trying to reach a horizon. Always dawning on me. Always farther as I near. Always a step too far. But I’ll never get tired of walking, because I know, one day, I’ll walk this road with you. And I’ll never get tired of walking, because all these sidewalks lead to you.

And I’ll love you all the same. No matter what. What you were. What you are. Whatever you will be. For every little thing you are. And every little thing that you do. I’ll grow with you. I’ll stay beside you. Everyday. I just want to be with you as much as I can. And there are things I do regret. And there’s so much more I have to learn. So much more I have to understand. If we’re moving too fast, we’ll fall off one day. All the more, I’m willing to wait. Let’s take it a day at a time. We got here, and we’ll keep going. We’ll work this out, remember? And for weeks, months, and even years, I’m more than willing to hold on. Could we just last the mile?

There’s so much we’ve left to do. So many places we’ve yet to go. So much sunsets to watch. So much stars to look up to. So many sidewalks to tread together. So much conversations to look back on. But it’s enough. One assurance. There’s someone waiting home for me.

Here’s to one. Here’s to more.

One day.

So just like I asked you the first time. The second. The third.

Will you be mine today?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s