think 50’s

And maybe people saw us
sitting by the staircase
talking to ourselves
wishing for our infinity
through blank smiles and prose
and tears that rose
to the occasion

and maybe people never really understood
why I love you

but I don’t get it myself
why I do

It is the incomprehensible inevitability that is us.

It is the Complexity that exceeds us.

It is the jungle that is our emotions,
intertwined in caps lock and secrets,
roamed by hugs, dewed by imaginary kisses.

It is the lack of words when I am with you.

It is the umbrella that hides us from an absence of rain.

It is that blue dot on your chest, wondrous and weird.

It is that kid who held out his hand for loose change.

It is that dog in the plant box looking for something beyond herself.

It is that time between the wedged potatoes and the avocado and vanilla,
long, treacherous, and worth it.

It is your eyes when I try to be funny.

It is the cave that is my chest, crashing in on itself.

It is the poetry that made no sense. Much like this one.

It is the premiere that is when you arrive.

It is the encore that is every time we meet again.

It is the pink that is your favorite color.

It is the red carpet that the pavement made up
making way for the actors of our likes
that guides us to an infinite loop of unknown exits

It is the crossroads we were stuck in at the middle,
waiting to hold you right then and there.
We took a left instead.

It is the dead end that met us.

It is the turnaround that is our meeting.

It is the next time that might never see existence.

It is the hand that should’ve belonged to yours
but held an umbrella instead.

It is the phone that makes our ends meet.

It is the let-go I regret.

It is the staircase that was us.

It is the closed gate that waited.

I am a contradiction.
This SMS is a contradiction.
New direction, no direction.
Trying to cheer me up.
Trying to calm me down.
Trying to make me realize
how close I am to the ground.

And my feet are aching.
My head is pounding.
My heart in the storm that needed words from a savior.

No one came.

And maybe our love was like that jeepney wait.
The inevitable parting that we face.
And the inevitable distance that we would traverse.
And the inevitable time that has to pass before we meet again.
The inevitable life that goes on.

and even for one last time

see her

and hold her hand

and never let go

and tell her I love her

and never let go

and hold her at the crossroads

and never let go

and tell her I’ll miss her

and never let me go

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